{My V-Day Wish: Safe Haven Movie}

I'm a sucker for romantic-thriller novels. A few months ago, I updated our iPad library by downloading several books, a few of which are written by Nicholas Sparks. I have never read any of his books and have only seen his works like The Notebook and Dear John through the big screen . I was a little curious with his other masterpieces and decided to get those that are not very much in the mainstream yet. I bumped into a copy of Safe Haven and right after reading the first few pages, I can't stop flipping over the next chapters. I think I was able to finish it in two days. Hah! After which, I Google-d about it and was surprised that they're actually turning it into a movie with Josh Duhamel as Alex and Julianne Hough as Katie. Win! Win! Now I've got more reason to really see it on the big screen. {Josh Duhamel is L.O.V.E.}

Safe Haven is a story about a girl Katie who's trying to escape her past. In her attempt, she settled in a small town of Southport where she met the beautiful family of Alex who was widowed and left with his two kids. In the process, they fell in love and just when things are already settling down, someone from her past haunts her again drawing the fear that she always tried to ran away from. This is a beautiful story about love, finding one's self, taking chances and searching for a Safe Haven.

Here's a sneak peek.

I can't wait for V-day! :)

Love Love Love! :)   

Breastfeeding at 11mos: No regrets!

When I conceived Inno, I never really thought of breastfeeding him but also didn't ever consider giving him formula milk. My knowledge of breastfeeding is very much limited that time and I myself even question that small knowledge. Things like how would I position him to feed, do I really have enough milk, would it hurt and a lot more doubts flooded my mind most of the time and that triggered my quest for answers. I begun reading online resources about breastfeeding, proper latching, boosting my milk supply and what not to eat. I jot down notes and watch videos. A blog that thoroughly helped me on my journey is Jenny Ong's Chronicles of a Nursing Mom. It has mostly all the answers to my queries and a list of support groups that could help me on my way to breastfeeding. I am also thankful for having a sister-in-law who breastfed her kids. She was both an example and a challenge to me because from then on, I have always told myself that if she can do it, I can do it too. Having a mom and a sister who were not fans of breastfeeding is quite a disadvantage in a way but I am grateful because they were very much supportive of me when I took this leap. 

Just like in many other major things, it is also important to have a support system in breastfeeding. Why? Because it is not as easy as it seems (or atleast in the beginning) and a support system will definitely help you boost your confidence and guide you through your struggles. It is definitely easy to just say yes to formula milk because those who chose it say its more convenient, the mother could just buy a can, heat some water and rest or do whatever she wants not realizing that breastfeeding has it's perks too, perks that are way beyond convenience. Perks that you and your child will definitely be thankful for in the months ahead. Quick pre-pregnancy weight recovery, a boost in baby's immune system, a different kind of bond between the mother and the baby just to name a few. 

I have been breastfeeding Inno for  almost a year now. I'm proud of that and so far, I've been enjoying the benefits this journey has showered me. Imagine, in less than four months post pregnancy, I'm back to almost 110 lbs from my 150+lbs pregnancy weight without any physical exercise. You could assume that maybe I am just really slim even before I got pregnant that's why I just went back to my old shape, that's true but also consider that short time of four months. I could easily slid on my jeans without having to do a jumping jacks here and there. According to studies, breastfeeding helps bring the uterus (which expanded 500x it's size during pregnancy) back to it's original size which is normally just three inches long.

With Inno, he never really gets sick fast. Just this week, we went to the doctor to have his cough for almost two weeks already checked. His pedia was quite astonished due to the fact that his case was close to bronchitis already but still, he was active and haven't got fever. Usually kids who are already with this type of cough do suffer from high fever already just like the case of Inno's cousin who was confined in the hospital for two weeks after convulsing due to Pneumonia. The doctor mentioned that Inno indeed has great immunity and that I should continue breastfeeding him. 

In Kali's case, he is very much supportive of me breastfeeding mostly due to economical reasons. You may think it's vague but I really believe that it also is an economical issue in a country that has more poor households than rich ones. Not to boast or whatever, but if we choose, we could really afford to buy a can of milk every week or two. Yet, here we are, sticking to the old school and healthier way. You could say we are just being practical or kuripot, and yes, I will agree in a way because it's true. We save Php3,000-4,000 a month from not buying canned milk and a lot more from hospitalizations or unwanted check-ups due to low immune system. We get to spend the money we save from buying canned milk on other things like Inno's school, clothes and booster shots. 

I will forever endorse and support breastfeeding. If given the chance to be a certified breastfeeding expert or adviser, no questions, I'll grab it because I know there are a lot of moms and moms-to-be who are willing to or afraid to breastfeed due to lack of support or knowledge about it. I want to be someone who could help them and make them believe that they can do it. I've been afraid once, and when I found out about modern moms who practice it, I stopped feeling alone and started to believe that I'm also going to succeed at it and I am. 

Now at almost eleven months, I'm still enjoying the wonders and joy of breastfeeding. This is one of the choices that I will never regret making in my life. :)

Dear Tita Me, 

For the first time since Wednesday, I am allowing myself to grieve over you… without crying. 

Or at least I would try.

Maybe it hadn’t sank just yet to me that you’re already gone, is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can’t tell right now. 

The last time I saw you while you try your best to hide the pain you’re going through, all I could think of is how I could help take away your pain. 

I know it’s something I could not do but I want you to know that I really wish I could do anything to stop it. 

I hate to admit it to myself, but we all are aware that death is the only thing that could finally end it. 

Still, we couldn’t wish that you just die because we don’t want to lose you. 

Not just yet.

I know you don’t want people crying while looking at you and I’m really sorry for being a crybaby. 

Believe me, I tried my best not to shed a tear but they just won’t stop because while they pour, flashbacks of you and how you lived back came with them. 

I remembered the first time you brought us (your pamangkins) in a bar. 

My first Baguio Trip that you had to bargain and ask Daddy to allow me to join you.

The watch you gave me as a High School graduation present.

The dinner-massage-coffee bonding treat you gave me when I went to Cebu.

The countless mornings I’ll join you to Manila and the stories we’d share during the drive.

The way you’d make ‘lambing’ with a kiss and a hug every time you’ll see me after a long time.

The Looney Tunes shirt you gave me one Christmas when I was still a kid. 

The crazy Bingo games you’re always giddy about every Christmas. 

I know there are still a lot to share. 

And as I type this, I’m sorry for crying again.

It’s just that I miss you and it pains me because I know, I’ll never see you again.

I love you and I’m sorry for not always being there for you.

I hope that you are in a happy place now free of pain and smiling down to us.

I am crying because I miss you.

And because I am happy that you don’t have to suffer any longer.

Don’t worry about Mama and Dada, we’ll look after them. 

I know you’ll never be alone because Papa, Tito Bong and Tito Jun are there to welcome you. 

I love you, Tita Noeme.

You hold the spot for the Coolest Tita Ever. I’m being biased but I know your sibs would also say that.  

I will forever admire you for your strength and independence. 

For your charm and wit,

and for your zest towards life.

Thank you for all the memories.  

We accept this  pain coming from your loss because it liberated you from all the suffering.

Goodbye, Tita Me.

Send our hugs and kisses to Papa.

Until we meet again.

Arianne

Goodbye, Tita Me

Dear Tita Me, 

For the first time, since Wednesday, I am allowing myself to grieve over you… without crying. 

Or at least I would try.

Maybe it hadn’t sunk just yet to me that you’re already gone, is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can’t tell right now. 

The last time I saw you while you try your best to hide the pain you’re going through, all I could think of is how I could help and take it away. 

I know it’s something I could not do but I want you to know that I really wish I could do anything to stop it. 

I hate to admit it to myself, but we all are aware that death is the only thing that could finally end it. 

Still, we couldn’t wish that you just die because we don’t want to lose you. 

Not just yet.

I know you don’t want people crying while looking at you and I’m really sorry for being a crybaby. 

Believe me, I tried my best not to shed a tear but they just won’t stop because while they pour, flashbacks of you and how you lived back then came with them. 

I remembered the first time you brought us (your pamangkins) in a bar. 

My first Baguio Trip that you had to bargain and ask Daddy to allow me to join you.

The watch you gave me as a High School graduation present.

The dinner-massage-coffee bonding treat you gave me when I went to Cebu.

The countless mornings I’ll join you to Manila and the stories we’d share during the drive.

The way you’d make ‘lambing’ with a kiss and a hug every time you’ll see me after a long time.

The Looney Tunes shirt you gave me one Christmas when I was still a kid. 

The crazy Bingo games you’re always giddy about every Christmas. 

I know there are still a lot to share. 

And as I type this, I’m sorry for crying again.

It’s just that I miss you and it pains me because I know, I’ll never see you again.

I love you and I’m sorry for not always being there for you.

I hope that you are in a happy place now free of pain and smiling down to us.

I am crying because I miss you.

And because I am happy that you don’t have to suffer any longer.

Don’t worry about Mama and Dada, we’ll look after them. 

I know you’ll never be alone because Papa, Tito Bong and Tito Jun are there to welcome you. 

I love you, Tita Noeme.

You hold the spot for the Coolest Tita Ever. I’m being biased but I know your sibs would also say that.  

I will forever admire you for your strength and independence. 

For your charm and wit,

and for your zest towards life. 

We accept this  pain coming from your loss because it liberated you from all the suffering.

Goodbye, Tita Me.

Send our hugs and kisses to Papa.

Until we meet again.

Arianne

2013: A Year to Bounce Back

It is the fourth day of the year and I am currently spending this cool afternoon with the little man taking a cruise around the living room while patiently waiting for me to shower him some attention and hand him a piece of cracker.  

Finally, 2013 is here. In as much as I feel excited about how this new year’s going to be like for me, I’m feeling a little anxious and pressured too when I think about the career/money-making department.

Last year, my world mainly revolved around my small family particularly, with Inno. Being a first time mom, there had been a lot of lessons that I learned and sacrifices I had to make for the little one without even the slightest regret. I could say that I have never been as selfless as I was last year and for that I give myself a pat on the back. This year, I have no plans to change or stop that selflessness but rather, I plan to continue it and put a little twist while being at it.

My main concern why I really never opted for a job last year was of course, Inno. I wanted to be hands-on and even dreamed of becoming a Work-At-Home Mom for that matter, but still, I had to try my luck on a new career path. The odds were never in my favor (and I'm somehow thankful with that) because I never landed on one. Well, that WAHM dream still remains a dream and hopefully, I’d be able to finally make it happen this year. I know the journey wouldn’t be as smooth as any other journey but with patience and perseverance, I know I could make it through juggling motherhood, being a wife and chasing my dreams.

This year, I know is the time to finally step on the pedal and go after the things that I really love doing. 2012 has given me a lot of time to ponder about what I really want to do and to have in the future. It has been the pause that God has planned for me to prepare on the great journey that He will soon reveal to me. 2012 was the rest that I had always longed for; it was the perfect time for me to ready myself to what lies ahead.

Therefore, I claim that 2013 is my year. It is the year I am finally bouncing back, much eager and braver to chase my dreams and conquer my fears. I know I’m trekking an unusual path and that the thing I love to do for the rest of my life is something that not all people would choose to walk on through, but nothing will let me down. Because I know this dream is meant for me. No one could tell me how I should live my life the same way that I can’t tell other people how to live theirs.  J

How about you? What will you go after this year? 

Happy 2013!

Why I Shifted to a New Pedia

Inno celebrated his eight month last Monday. And as per routine, we had his monthly checkup yesterday too... with his new pedia. Yes. Finally, we are under a new pediatrician. I have to admit that I really waited long for this shift. And I'm very much glad that we did. It was just the first meeting but I already had a lot of comparisons between the new one and the previous one. And I'm not just talking about small comparisons, I'm talking about those that actually matter to a mom like me. 

First, I'm happy to know that our new pedia is a breastfeeding advocate. Yes, that very much matter to me. Unlike the previous one, she encouraged me to breastfeed more and  told me that I could already drop the formula can. That's good news to my pump and husband's pocket. It's a great feeling when someone professional supports you in your advocacy. She actually breastfed her baby too while she can so I guess that's the reason why she's in full support of breastfeeding mommies like me. 

The second thing I like about her is that she measures everything -- as in everything necessary. From the seven months that I spent with our previous pedia, I've waited in agony for her to measure Inno's head circumference, height and ask about his milestones. That never actually happened because in reality, I was the one who's spoon-feeding her things that I think she should be asking me. She was never interested knowing if Inno could sit without support or if he's trying to stand up on his own. Never. All she did during check-ups was to measure the weight and give Inno his due vaccines. That's it.With our new one, she asked about all the things that Inno could do already, and after which, assured me that I have nothing to worry about with Inno because he is in the right track. 

One more thing is she even plotted Inno's developments in a growth chart. What more can I ask for? Per month, I have a concrete chart to look at to check how my child is doing, not just something that I could imagine and track mentally. So far, according to Inno's chart, his weight is average the weight of eight month old babies. He may not gained a pound but she assured me that it's normal for breastfed babies because they usually absorb the nutrients. So, it's no cause for alarm. His height however is a little way beyond his age. He is taller than the average eight-month old baby boy. Wow. I think I'm breeding a future basketball player. Kali was actually happy when I told him about it. 

I am very much happy that we finally changed our pedia for this incident. Last month, Inno's previous pedia told us that he is due for a Rotavirus vaccine on his next check-up. Rotavirus is actually an oral vaccine which protects babies from diarrhea leading to dehydration. I mentioned to our new pedia that Inno is due for a rotavirus vaccine this month and she was somehow alarmed when she learned that Inno wasn't given the vaccine yet at his age. Then she explained that the oral vaccine is usually given during baby's second month and cannot be given once baby reaches his eight month because according to studies, babies who are given the vaccine at eight months (or more), might encounter negative effects from the said vaccine. She also told me that although she never really had heard of any instances where a baby suffered from the bad side effects from the said cause, she doesn't want to try it with Inno and risk his health and she just encouraged me more to continue breastfeeding as breastmilk contains antibodies that fight against rotavirus.

If you could only imagine my wrath after learning about this. I am really never going back to that pediatrician ever. Imagine if she gave Inno the rotavirus vaccine and something happend to him? I could kill her! As a pediatrician, it's impossible that she don't know when the vaccines are due, right? I don't know why she still scheduled Inno to have it with the knowledge that it's been long overdue and Inno can't have it anymore at his age. 

So, to all the mommies who are still having their little ones checked once in a while, please know your pediatrician well. Read a lot of resources on how to spot the right doctor for your baby. Once you feel uncomfortable or your clinic visits become 'lugi', shift to a new one. There are a lot of good doctors there who'll make your money and time worth-spending and support your advocacies on child-rearing as well. 

How about you? Do you love your pediatrician? 

  

On my way to WAHM-ing

It is Kali's birthday today. Unfortunately, I don't have anything for him. Well simply because I ran out of budget for it. October is pretty much a very pocket-wrecking month. With two anniversaries to celebrate plus Kali's birthday, I definitely expect to ran out of money given the fact that I don't have a job. I only make some out of the money Kali hands me (once in a blue moon). And yes, you're right to think that I don't actually hold our family budget. 

I think the heavens already heard my prayers and finally opened a door for me. Last night, I just had my first online job interview via Skype. I applied for this part-time and home-based job last week and they scheduled me for an interview. I'm very much happy to say that I finally got a shot and was called for a training which would last for around ten days. Not bad at all because after the training, everything will be home-based already. 

I am pretty much excited to work. I know it's not my ideal job but right now, for me, what is important is I could still get to look after Inno while making my own money. It's a lot different to have your own money to save and spend rather than waiting for the husband to hand his pay to you (which in my case, doesn't really happen). I've got things I want to accomplish in the future and the only way I could make that happen is to have my own money to study for it. 

Kali already told me to set that 'dream' aside and find a job so I could help him with the saving thing. But I just cannot push myself to find a work that I know I would not enjoy and then resign (again) in the future, the reason I am finding ways to earn money without even having to sacrifice my time for Inno and tying myself to a job that I don't really like just for the sake of earning. 

So, Yes. I am on my way to becoming a WAHM and I'm finding more opportunities to increase my chances of earning while staying at home and taking care of our family. I don't mind what other people would think about it because in the end, it's still my life and I would live it the way I want. :)